


Ill-Fated

by chocosunshine



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abortion, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Office, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Kunten, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Past Relationship(s), Soulmates, Terminal Illnesses, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2020-09-23 12:50:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20340388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocosunshine/pseuds/chocosunshine
Summary: Renjun is healing himself from his past.Yukhei is too sick to have plans for a future.They meet.It does not last too long.But... Renjun was happy... and Yukhei was happy too





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize beforehand if there is any mistake with language. English is not my native language.

The first thing that crossed Renjun's mind when he saw Yukhei for the first time was that the boy had very big round eyes, was too tall, and had an attitude that resembled that of a puppy’s rather than an alpha wolf’s. He was an alpha, but not a wolf or a shapeshifter as were his ancestors centuries ago. His secondary gender was one that made enemies shiver and lead crowds—the reason why it was so strange for Renjun to have this smiling alpha come to his cubicle twice a day just to check if he needed something.

Which many considered weird, since Yukhei worked in the marketing department while Renjun was in creative. Both sections shared the same floor, and any omega would have felt worried for such attention, expecting the worst from an alpha. However, since Yukhei asked every single person on the floor the same thing, Renjun only concluded that the man had a warm heart.

That, and that for some reason he did not smell like an alpha.

Yukhei had no scent at all.

Renjun worked for a company dedicated to making stationery items. The pay was not bad, and it was the most stable job he'd managed to get since his graduation three years ago. He was in charge of designing sticky notes, something he found quite entertaining. It was like any office job. He arrived in the morning after being crushed inside one of the many crowded wagons, had lunch at any close restaurant near the company building, left at 5 P.M., and lived in a small apartment in one of the many municipalities of China.

His life was already becoming a routine even before he reached his mid-twenties, but Renjun had no complaints at all.

It had been his escape.

He spent most of his days inside a cubicle doodling and having at least three breakdowns, two creative blocks, and one 30-second moment of inspiration per day.

That day was one of those days in which he couldn’t even do a straight line. He hit his head repeatedly against his desk.

“Does that work?”

A piece of washi tape stuck on his forehead, he raised his head and looked towards the tall man standing two steps away from him.

“So far… nah.”

Yukhei smiled.

Renjun stretched on his seat, cracking some bones on his back. “Are you on your way out?” He asked, seeing the alpha with his suitcase in his hand and his suit jacket cramped under his arm. Yukhei used a suit every day, which no one really complained about since he fit them really well—when he rolled up his sleeves at the end of the day, more than one of their coworkers sighed, and Renjun’s sure he could see Yukhei sparkling. Renjun could not deny how handsome the man looked with his white shirt, tie, and carefully styled hair, but he felt lucky to not have to socialize with clients and dress up every single day. He felt comfortable with his sweaters, jeans, and pair of tennis shoes.

“Yeah, appointment.”

Renjun nodded and yawned, wishing him good luck. They were not close enough for Renjun to inquire more about his whereabouts, but, after working for half a year in the same company and the other being a happy virus, Renjun considered them as acquaintances. They had shared lunch more than a couple times and had even once ended up sitting next to each other during one of the company’s many drinking parties.

“Don’t overwork yourself.” Renjun smiled and waved at him as he said goodbye.

\- . -

“First time leaving the mainland?” That was the question that left Yukhei’s lips after hearing a whine escape Renjun’s. They were in the business class of a plane that had Shanghai as its destination.

“No, I’ve actually lived abroad. It’s just—” He exhaled all the air in his lungs and pouted. “Why do I have to go?”

Yukhei laughed. Renjun furrowed his eyebrows. “Why do I need to go? Isn’t it enough with just you?”

“The client wants to meet you. Something about meeting the artist.” Renjun rolled his eyes. There were only sticky notes. “And you know, they are _ always _ right.”

Yukhei inclined his seat and put on an eye mask. Renjun whined again as Yukhei started fake snoring. The tall boy turned towards him, showing a smirk on his lips and turning the mask into a headband.

“Just think of it as a paid vacation, ok? I’m gonna be with you at ALL times. Don’t worry.” Yukhei found the pout on Renjun’s lips quite funny. He cleared his throat as Renjun crossed his arms. He knew that the omega was the introverted type, and it had taken him more than a little effort to establish communication with him at the beginning. Maybe he was just nervous—he felt the need to distract him since they obviously couldn’t get off the plane and come back to the company without closing this deal. “So, you’ve lived abroad?”

Renjun exhaled again, this time defeated.

“Yeah, most of my family live in South Korea. Only my cousins live in the country.”

“The one with the twins, right?”

Renjun smiled fondly at him. “You remember?”

Yukhei nodded and saw Renjun recline his seat.

“He came to pick you up after the welcome party. He was… difficult to forget.”

Renjun’s ears became red. His dumb, caring cousin Kun.

Cute.

“That was embarrassing.” Renjun turned his head towards the window. Yukhei wanted to say something, but Renjun’s expression made him silent. “He… tries to protect me. That’s all.”

It was a well-known rumor that something had happened to Renjun, because every time someone tried to ask anything regarding his past, he declined to answer. Yukhei had witnessed how uncomfortable the omega turned when a drunk co-worker pestered him with questions. A sour scent surrounded him every time someone dared to ask him about his past. Yukhei did not feel like asking for what was not needed.

He knew firsthand that everyone had secrets, and, like him, some preferred to bury them deep down.

He was curious, but he enjoyed the company of a bright Renjun.

“Nope. He’s nice. I wish I had a cousin like him. The other day, didn’t he pack you your lunch?”

He hid his face behind his hands, again. “Please, don’t.” Renjun squealed.

Yukhei laughed, again.

“Do you want some company?” Renjun rolled his eyes and groaned in discomfort after noticing the low tone that Yukhei used on purpose. The alpha giggled as he took the seat next to Renjun in the hotel’s bar. The deal was closed, and their flight was around noon the next day. They—Yukhei—decided that they deserved to somehow celebrate and since the company was paying… why not?

“It took you long enough.” He smiled.

“This,” he said, making circles around his face with his hand, “takes time.”

Renjun gagged, feigning disgust. Their age difference was only a year, so that somehow made them feel more comfortable with each other.

“Water?” Renjun asked as the bartender put a glass of water in front of him.

“Yeah. Don’t feel like—” He went quiet as Renjun raised an eyebrow with a look that said _ this was your idea _. “Doctor told me to take care of my liver.”

Renjun’s expression fell. “Is something wrong?”

_ A lot of things. _

He shrunk his shoulders, took a sip of the water, and changed the topic of the conversation.

“You sure you don’t need me to take you to your room?” Yukhei watched as Renjun stumbled as the elevator stopped on the floor of his room—three floors below Renjun’s.

“I’m a little tipsy, but, more than anything, sleepy.” Renjun rubbed his eyes. Yukhei’s hand was still on the sensor of the elevator. “I’m okay. Just tired.” Renjun yawned and kept rubbing his eyes. They were already puffy.

“Okay.” He finally said, noticing that someone else was asking for the elevator from the floors above. “See you at breakfast.”

Renjun nodded.

Yukhei waited for the elevator to close to turn around. When he did, he saw Renjun wave at him. “Bye-bye.” Yukhei smiled hearing the playful tone of his co-worker.

Yukhei pressed the key card twice before noticing that it belonged to Renjun. His was on the other pocket. The moment Renjun stood and went to the bathroom, it had fallen from his pocket. Yukhei had forgotten to give it back to him.

He repetitively pressed the button of the elevator.

One of the first things that Yukhei noticed when he met Renjun for the first time was that the other boy was short, and looked fairy-like. Anyone from afar would be able to say that he was not an alpha, and, from up close, his scent was proof that he was an omega.

He smelled delicate—like some flower, or at least that was what Yukhei had associated with him. He smelled fresh, and enchanting. Quite comforting. Which is why the moment the elevator doors opened and a sour scent filled his nose, chills ran down his spine.

A mixture of panic, fear, and sadness.

He might be cheerful and charming, but people feared him when something made him switch to his primitive instinct.

Anger.

There are not a lot of things that made Yukhei angry, and the one on top of his list was alphas cornering omegas.

Renjun was crouching over himself as some girl had him against the door of one of the rooms. Her pheromones made Yukhei angrier as he approached them. He could not register what the girl was saying to Renjun, but he saw the other tremble, and that was enough for him to groan and push the girl.

He knew that it was not right to hit a girl. Well, no. It was not right to punch people in general. But if someone decided to use that primitive part of them to take advantage of others, they deserved to be punched.

He settled Renjun behind him and faced the Alpha. She was a couple centimeters shorter than him.

“Don’t you dare,” he warned.

After the girl left and they were left alone in the hallway, Yukhei exhaled all the air in his lungs. He turned to Renjun, who now sat on the floor.

The alpha’s hand went to his own neck—to the exact point where his scent gland was. Releasing certain pheromones would help the omega feel calm, but, since a couple of years ago, he knew that no scent would be produced- just like any beta.

Renjun hugged his legs and buried his face into them, hiding himself.

Yukhei remained silent by his side until he calmed down.

Two knocks.

His cubicle had no door since he had to accommodate himself in such a small space. He raised his head from all the paperwork scattered on his desk.

Something that had never happened before.

“Wanna grab lunch?” Renjun asked. He waved his wallet which was in his hand. “It’s on me.” A tiny shy smile—almost imperceptible—appeared.

Yukhei blinked. He had already bought something from the convenience store and still had a lot of work to do.

“Yeah, but I’m paying mine. One bowl is not enough. You choose the place, though.”

\- . -

It became a routine.

Whenever Yukhei was in the office during lunch break, they went to eat together. There were many occasions during those months in which they had dinner after work. Times in which Yukhei escorted him back home or they stayed over at each other's house when there were no more trains running. Being both single with no family members close made them spend even their weekends together.

They talked.

They laughed.

They grew close together.

Renjun started to consider the term _ friends _ to refer to the type of relationship between them.

And as any pair of friends out there, they had fights too.

Yukhei remembered way too clear the first big fight they had. They had gone to dinner. A new place Renjun had heard about and had been nagging Yukhei for them to go to for over two weeks.

“Amazing," Renjun laughed, seeing Yukhei’s exaggerated manners—kissing his fingers—to tell that the chicken was good. Yukhei babbled something with his mouth full, and Renjun laughed again while taking a sip of his beer—the only one he was going to have since Yukhei did not like him drinking, stating how lightweight the shorter was.

“I feel offended that you dare think I don't know what's good in this city."

“Do I have to remind you of the bakery on the east si—" He did not let him continue.

“I’ve already apologized. And I was with you at the ER. And—"

This time, Yukhei interrupted him, cleaning the corner of his lips with a napkin. “Wasn't your fault. I know you didn't want to kill me. I know you can’t live without me," he said and winked, making Renjun gag.

Renjun's phone vibrated in his pocket, interrupting the reply he had for him. Yukhei did not want to snoop, but he had already seen the name of the contact. _ Ten _. Kun’s husband. His curiosity appeared as he saw that Renjun was frowning. “Everything okay?”

Renjun replied to the message and put the phone inside his pocket again.

“Yeah, a couple’s quarrel. Kun-ge and his paranoia towards Ten running away and you know…” Renjun stuffed his mouth with a carrot. “That's why I never want to marry. They are married, mates, and even soulmates.” He sighed and arranged his eyeglasses, which had slipped.

“They have everything that they’re supposed to have. And… they're not… They even have kids and—” He gulped the beer, unable to continue—not wanting to continue.

They lived in a world organized by primitive nature, in which your genetic code was supposed to determine your role in society. Many things had changed over the centuries, some for good. However, a reminder of a fated destiny lied in soulmates. Destined pairs that were supposed to complement each other and share their lives together. They were rare, but they existed. Well, supposedly everyone had a soulmate but only a few were able to find each other. Their life was already complicated with mating marks. Add the fact of being already designed to fit another person and you got the chaotic society they lived in.

Unpaired people, broken bonds, and blurred marks.

Kun and Ten were the second pair of soulmates Yukhei had met during his lifetime.

Soulmates were supposed to be with each other. No matter what—or who. He had accepted that truth years ago and, being honest, it was quite romantic but also cursed.

“Love is supposed to be bittersweet. The more you fight for it, the more valuable it becomes. It will be dull if there aren’t hardships. Love is not for cowards." Renjun’s eyes were fixated on his half-empty plate.

“Love isn't for everybody.” His scent changed. Sorrowful, maybe.

“Love is for anyone who is willing to fight for it."

He scoffed. “It's not easy."

“That's why it's so precious.”

“It’s not worthy.”

“It is. You—”

“You always lose. No matter how hard you try.”

“That means you haven't tried your hardest yet.”

“I _ did _.”

Yukhei hadn’t noticed that their conversation had become heated until Renjun raised his voice, turning the restaurant quiet.

A waiter came to check if everything was alright. Although they dismissed him, Renjun's scent was still sour. That annoyed Yukhei.

“Who hurt you to make you so reluctant?”

He didn’t notice that Renjun's eyes were watery until he stood up and tossed some money for his dinner on the table.

“Myself.” Renjun walked out of the restaurant.

Yukhei felt guilty when he arrived at his apartment.

He got mad at Renjun for something that Renjun had nothing to do with. A chapter on his life that had changed him completely. The words that Renjun had said made him angry because a part of him -the part that some nights kept him awake longing for someone- felt that what he had done was the wrong thing. He did not want to admit that maybe… all the sacrifices he had made for someone else’s love were worthless.

Two days later, he bought Renjun's favorite snacks and left them on his desk.

Renjun made him pay for his tea and a piece of carrot cake that afternoon and things were somehow normal again.

\- . -

Yukhei had a secret.

No one in the company but their boss knew about it. Not even Renjun who considered himself close enough to the other to let him sleep on the floor of his apartment—he called it apartment, but it was only slightly bigger than a room. He did not have enough space for a couch, but he was kind enough to give his pillow to the older. And given the fact that Yukhei was an alpha and he an omega, sharing the same space at night _ was _ a big deal.

Yukhei’s secret was revealed during a drinking party held by their company. A new branch was going to be opened, and everyone was celebrating.

Even Renjun felt lively and was enjoying the small canapes.

Everything happened in slow motion, or at least that’s how Renjun remembered it. He was talking with one of the new interns when he saw Yukhei coming to his direction.

He knew that Yukhei deserved all the credit for the new branch, and their boss was going to give him a raise, which Yukhei promised to invest in an expensive dinner for his friend who had spent sleepless nights encouraging him. Yukhei had finally freed himself of tedious conversations with the high ranks and was on his way to tease his friend with the new intern—that, according to him, had a crush on the omega.

Someone dropped a glass, breaking it. One of his coworkers jumped, scared of the broken glasses scattered, and accidentally pushed one of the waitresses. The elbow of the waitress hit right in the middle of Yukhei’s chest.

The eyes of the gentle Alpha widened as he dropped on his knees. The color on his cheeks disappeared as a red spot on his chest started to form.

The catheter had broken.

  
  


Yukhei looked like a child when he slept—like a puppy.

Renjun rubbed his eyes. The sun had already risen, and they were still in the hospital. Yukhei was resting in bed. It had been a busy night. Renjun massaged his neck, trying to dissipate the aching brought about by him sleeping on a chair next to Yukhei’s bed. He yawned and decided to look for coffee to wake himself up. It was going to be a long Sunday.

When Renjun came back from the vending machine, he found a nurse talking to Yukhei. When their eyes met, Renjun could feel the worry reflected on his friend’s eyes.

“I'm taking him home," he answered the nurse arranging the discharge.

Renjun told Yukhei that he was going to prepare something light for him to eat as lunch. Then, he informed him that he was going home to change his clothes and then come back so they can spend the rest of the afternoon together, that if something happened in the meantime, he should call him right away, but Yukhei remained oddly silent. Renjun was not going to go back to his apartment without making it clear to Yukhei that he had to eat the food he had made and go to bed to rest.

Renjun had not made any comments about his health condition, but Yukhei knew that his friend had already been informed about everything. In his panicked state and refusal to leave his friend’s side, they had assumed that their relationship was a closer one than what they actually had.

“You’re not gonna say a thing about it, are you?” Renjun sighed as the question left Yukhei's lips. He had refused to move from the stool in the kitchen and go to bed as what Renjun had repeatedly told him to do.

“I'm mad at you for not telling me about… it," he confessed.

“You have your secrets and I have mine, Renjun.” 

A spark of anger ignited in the eyes of the younger. _ “I’m not the one who’s going to die! _” Renjun's lower lip trembled as he repeated what the doctor had told him. He expected a different reaction from the alpha, but Yukhei only cracked a little smile. Not as mockery, but one of defeated acceptance.

Yukhei remembered hearing the diagnosis during the spring break of his last year of college. He didn’t curse the superior forces deciding to make his life miserable. Years ago, he decided that his life was destined to fatality—he had lost someone he considered as the love of his life, and since then he had just accepted everything that was thrown at him.

Of course, being informed that he would probably not make it to his 40th birthday was hard, but he decided that if his days were numbered, he was going to make them worthy. He wanted to make his short life on Earth memorable and to be remembered as someone with a smile and not as the young delinquent he had been in his teenage years.

He was nice. He was charming. He had a heart of gold.

“Renjun, breathe. Please, breathe." The omega was going to have a panic attack, and Yukhei was not sure if, in his state, he could help his friend in case he faded out.

Yukhei stayed close to him as he calmed himself down.

“Is it really nothing left to do?” Renjun’s voice was broken, and Yukhei noticed how he was trying to contain himself from crying.

Yukhei breathed out.

“A transplant… but single alphas are not the priority in the waiting list. They… never last."

Renjun whimpered.

Yukhei blinked repeatedly, trying to dispel the tears in his eyes.

\- . -

Months went by, and they were close enough to make people think that they were a couple. They took advantage of it whenever there were buy-1-get-2 discounts. And, somehow, Yukhei started to believe it too as they spent more time together than apart. But he knew that nothing more than a platonic relationship existed between them. Renjun used to sleep on his couch until he decided to buy an inflatable mattress.

He knew his friend cared about him, but that was all.

And he was happy with it.

They were close friends. Close enough to know everything about each other.

Renjun knew that Yukhei was not allowed to eat big amounts of red meat because it caused him painful cramps.

Yukhei knew that Renjun could no longer drink sugar and avoided honey at all cost.

Renjun knew that Yukhei's scent disappeared when he started his treatment years ago.

Yukhei knew that Renjun stopped taking suppressants years ago.

Renjun knew about Yukhei’s painful love—losing the one who was supposed to be his mate because the other’s soulmate appeared.

Yukhei knew that Renjun came back to the country in order to escape his former lover.

Renjun knew that if Yukhei missed taking the gray pill his blood would coagulate and he’d have a heart attack.

Yukhei knew that Renjun had been pregnant and had lost his baby.

Renjun knew… he could not let Yukhei die.

Renjun's heat started on a Thursday morning. His head was throbbing, and the air was impregnated by a sweet and suffocating scent.

Slick soaked his underwear, and he did not have enough strength to stand up.

He sent a message to his boss informing him of his absence, then a message to Yukhei telling him to not forget to throw the leftovers from yesterday’s dinner that were in the fridge and that he was going to call him as soon as his heat ended.

He turned off his phone and dozed off, trying to make the following days shorter.

Renjun had a nightmare, and he was woken up by someone entering his room.

Relief.

Yukhei was carrying three plastics bags on his hands, his tie loose. Yukhei was there and not inside a casket as he had dreamed.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, masking his distress with annoyance. He was sure his shift had not ended yet, and it was too early for lunch break.

“They sent me home. Actually… I know you don't like the idea of me coming during your heats and all that, but I know that you were supposed to begin next week, and you’re not ready. Even more, the tournament of that online game that I mentioned starts tomorrow, so…” He wiggled his eyebrows trying to be funny.

Truth be told, Renjun did not feel threatened by the alpha's presence—he was immune to the strong pheromones released by the omega. _ Collateral damages _, he had called it. He simply did not want to be a nuisance to his friend.

Yukhei took a seat next to him. “I know what you are thinking.” He spoke gently. “I want to be here, okay? You’ve helped me countless times. I want to help you, too. It's what friends do.”

He thanked the heavens that his cheeks were already red, because otherwise Yukhei would have noticed him blush. His big round eyes made him more adorable as he rubbed his nape shyly.

“And this is my first time asking for a… leave.” The leave given to alphas that had to take care of omegas. And since Yukhei’s ruts stopped long ago, his record of attendance was perfect.

Renjun smiled fondly at him. He was like a kid.

“I have always wondered how… taking care of an omega during his heat is like. I’ve never done it before.”

Renjun laughed as Yukhei covered his face with his hands. Cute. “For god's sake. That sounded creepy.”

A thought flashed through Renjun's mind.

That could not be the only time they could spend together during his heats.

Everyone thought they were a couple. The only thing left to do was…

Renjun decided to reflect on it when his heat ended. With his head completely clear and without his member throbbing. Right now, a headache was starting to appear at the back of his head as Yukhei was explaining that he wasn't a pervert at all and that he was going to be using headphones at the maximum volume.

Whatever nice remark Renjun was going to give to his friend as a thanks for being caring was forgotten when the alpha took out two brand new vibrators from one of the plastic bags that he had bought.

One of them was the same length of Yukhei's head.

“So… which one do you prefer?” He wiggled them in front of his face.

Renjun kicked him off his bed.

\- . -

Yukhei had never raised his voice at Renjun, which is why when the alpha did it, Renjun started to tremble.

Yukhei immediately felt guilty seeing Renjun hug himself and seek for comfort, crunched on the floor next to the sofa. Yukhei squatted next to him and maintained his distance until Renjun told him he was alright—when he calmed down, when both of them calmed down.

“Renjun, I'm sorry, but I can't accept it. I can't make you do it”

“But—“

This time, he did not shout. “Renjun, I won't bite you. I'm not going to mark you.”

Renjun was desperate as he spoke. “But if we mate… w-we… we will have a chance. They will give you priority in the waiting list. You’ll get the transplant.”

Too good to be true.

“What if I don’t? What if I never receive it? Renjun, I cannot make you lose your chance to mate with someone you truly love. If I live, we both will be bonded until one of us die. I will feel you; you will feel me. And if I die—if I die, you wouldn’t be able to handle the pain of a broken bond. Renjun, I can't do it. I can’t do that to you. That’ll be selfish.” Yukhei was not sure when the tears began to fall.

“I’m lonely,” Renjun admitted. Yukhei's chest tightened. “I've told myself that I have to love myself in order to… be loved. I’ve been learning that it’s okay to be alone. I know it’s okay. That I don't need someone else to feel complete. That no matter what, I can get through anything all by myself. I’ve done it, but I feel lonely… It’s okay to be alone, but I wouldn’t really mind if I had someone else with me. Please… if I can do something to help you, I will do it. I can’t—I won't manage losing someone else.” 

Yukhei said no.

Renjun stopped coming over his house.

Renjun stopped having lunch with him.

Renjun stopped talking to him.

  
  


And Renjun would have kept avoiding Yukhei if his friend had not collapsed during a meeting and been rushed to the hospital.

Yukhei was told that his life span was decreasing. No matter what they did, he was already going to be lucky if he reached his 30th birthday.

Renjun was by his side when they told him that.

Once the doctor left them alone, he accepted Renjun's proposal.

He wanted to keep accompanying his friend as long as he could.

He was buying time.

\- . -

Golden Week was coming, and they had decided to do it then.

They wanted time to get used to it. Time to get used to having a mate. A foreign concept that none of them ever thought was possible. They also decided to take advantage of the holiday and move together. That was something that none of them was going to admit out loud but knew pretty well that was going to happen sooner or later.

Boxes were left unpacked as they laid on the mattress in the middle of _ their _ living room. The smell of fresh paint invaded the place, but also the smell of anxiety. It was from Renjun, but Yukhei knew that if he could smell of something, he would be more anxious than Renjun.

They were in the middle of unpacking when Renjun blurted out that it was better to do it in that moment before Yukhei got cold feet. He joked about Renjun knowing where he lives in case he runs away, and Renjun punched his arm.

Renjun’s shirt was open, his neck completely exposed for Yukhei's teeth to dig into. Renjun was sitting on Yukhei's lap. It was easier that way. There were no candles, no flowers.

It was the most anticlimactic scenario for such an event.

But they didn’t care.

“You know I can't get it up, right?” Yukhei's hands were on Renjun's hips. His thumbs making circles on the other’s skin, trying to calm himself down. He felt his mouth water as Renjun’s scent got stronger by every second.

“Yah!” The omega hit his shoulder and maintained his hands into fists to hide the way they were trembling. “That’ll be weird. We’ve never even kissed, and you’re thinking that.” He moved while still on Yukhei's lap, hitting certain parts—that in any other parallel universe would have woken up and made him pant in pleasure. But not here, unfortunately.

“You want me to kiss you?”

Renjun blushed—he turned redder than he thought was possible. His heart skipped a beat.

“It is ok… if you don’t…” Renjun's tongue tangled with each word he tried to say.

“You were used to not getting kissed… when did that happen?” Another hit.

“It’s not the time to talk about it,” he whined. Yeah, it was not. Yukhei's legs were getting numb, and he was sure that Renjun would end up with a cold if he did not button up his shirt again.

“We are going to be bonded in the next five minutes. I’m not sure how that works, but… talking might help.” Both were completely clueless.

Yukhei asked for the umpteenth time if Renjun was sure.

Renjun for the umpteenth time told him that it was alright.

Both of them held their breath when Yukhei's nose brushed Renjun's neck.

It hurt.

Renjun cried when the skin on his neck was pierced.

Yukhei cried, too.

He never thought that he would ever have a mate.


	2. ii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm so sorry for updating it so late. I had everything already written, but... as I read it again and again I noticed more things where needed and... it took so long.
> 
> Thank you from the bottom of my heart if you stayed for so long, and... sorry.
> 
> Second, the next chapter is like only one scene... short. It will come sooner than this, I assure you that.
> 
> Third, thank you Z -a lovely person that offer her help to be my beta reader. THANK YOU.
> 
> Sorry, again.

The first heat of a newly-mated omega is something that many couples await anxiously.

Renjun and Yukhei were caught by it in the middle of an aisle of a grocery shop. Luckily for them, it was on a weekend. Unlucky for them was that they were clueless about how hard it would hit Renjun.

“Is everything okay? Should I bring… you know… help?” Yukhei was panicking seeing Renjun writhing and whining in pain. Something that had not happened before. All the blame was on the mark on Renjun's neck, and since Yukhei gave him that mark he was guilty. But there was nothing he could do. From his waist, southwards, nothing was useful for Renjun.

It made him feel bad.

He had rehearsed what to do when it was supposed to come. But as soon as the moment appeared, he felt that he was going to faint.

Renjun's scent was alluring—intoxicating, actually. But there was nothing left to do for Yukhei more than pass him wet towels and bottles of water.

It did not feel nice.

“Come here, just… here.” Renjun made space for him in the bed, and Yukhei cautiously sat at his side. With a strong tug, Renjun pinned the alpha down and snuggled on his chest. Yukhei's hands patted his back, trying to comfort him. Six minutes passed, and Renjun moved, already uncomfortable. He positioned himself even closer to the alpha. Renjun nuzzled his nose to where his scent gland was supposed to be.

There was no scent there, he knew.

But Renjun's delirious state pretended there was.

Yeah, it made him feel worse.

Renjun had his hand tangled on Yukhei's hair, trying to bring him closer.

He calmed down for the next 30 minutes.

It was peaceful.

Comforting.

It felt nice.

It was… warm.

“Should I bring your friend? The little one or the king size?” A gift from their first heat together. Renjun lifted his head from where it was buried in the alpha’s neck, and the eye contact they had made Yukhei's blood run out of his body.

“I’m gonna shove them into your ass if you don’t keep quiet,” the younger hissed, gripping too hard the hair his hand was running through.

Yukhei gulped.

He hoped that both of them ended alive by the end of his omega's heat.

\- . -

Yukhei saw how blood was being drained from his body.

The color was not as bright as it once had been. A reminder that something was not right.

“That’s all?” The nurse nodded as she collocated the bag of blood on a tray. Yukhei arranged the sleeve of his shirt. Hospitals made him feel anxious and sad. He felt like the white of the walls seeped the vitality of anyone who went inside. Yukhei saw his reflection on his phone’s black screen as he checked the hour.

No color on his cheeks, and the black bags under his eyes were noticeable if you paid enough attention.

Something that had been common since years ago.

He quietly put his coat on and took his suitcase.

“Here. Give this to the reception before you go.” The nurse flinched as his cold fingers touched her skin.

“Sorry.” Another common feature of his. Since he could recall, his hands were always cold. Once, someone told him that it was because his heart was warm. He liked the idea, and he tried to keep sharing that warmth with others and to avoid touching them with hands as cold as death.

Yes, hospitals made him antsy.

He thanked the nurse and walked towards the reception.

Another check-up, a routine that repeated every week.

His usual cheerful personality turned off as soon as he stepped inside the place. No one in that place had ever witnessed him smile, and he felt sorry for discomforting people.

He checked the hour again.

He had still an hour to reach where he was supposed to go.

His steps echoed, and an uneasy calmness lingered in the air.

He really did hate hospitals.

He approached the reception desk and gave the paper the nurse had given him to an old woman. He signed a paper, nodded at the unnecessary remainder of his next check up, and tried to not seem so uncomfortable to the lady.

“Yo,” Yukhei's heart jumped inside his ribcage and he almost trembled. A pair of arms were tangled on his waist, and he saw a head peering from his side—he was not tall enough to reach his shoulder.

“What are you doing here?” The question left his lips as Renjun’s head made its way under his arm, and now Yukhei was being hugged and hugging Renjun. Some new development he didn’t know Renjun liked.

“I know we were going to meet at the restaurant, but things ended sooner and I thought we could go together.”

Yukhei gulped and a goofy laugh resonated from his throat. Yes, that night was their unofficial date night.

Embarrassed.

Renjun smiled and some wrinkles appeared.

The spell was broken as a clicking sound came from the desk in front of them. Yukhei blinked. His eyes were wide open as the lady by the desk looked at him, completely shocked.  
Yeah, her first time seeing him smile.

He blushed.

“Is everything alright?” Renjun asked, unaware of what could have made the old lady drop whatever she was holding, unable to stop staring at his mate. He cleared his throat, and the lady turned to him and, with a rare high pitch tone, said that they were free to go.

Renjun shrunken his shoulders as he was taken by Yukhei to the exit.

“Next time, we should come here together,” Renjun said as they sat on the backseat of the taxi.

Yukhei bit his lips nervously. Hospitals were not his thing. Always filled by dark and bad memories. He did not want to stain Renjun with such sad surroundings. He, like he had been doing for a long time, wanted to keep what made him suffer inside a box. As he was trying to erase such bad sensations until the next session and so on.

Whatever excuse he was going to come up with was soon forgotten as Renjun jumped a little when their fingers brushed. “God, you are freezing.”

Neither the apology got the chance of leaving his lips as Renjun caged his hands between his and started to warm them with his warm breath. “We need to look for warming pads. It’s just the beginning of fall, but maybe they got them in the store close to Kun’s workplace. You know, that old lady’s store…”

Renjun kept talking, and Yukhei only nodded. The last extract of the conversation was a casual “Bring me next time you have an appointment. I want to be there.”  
Next check-up, Renjun’s smile illuminated the hall as soon as he left the cold white room.

\- . -

Yukhei knew he was handsome. He did not brag about it, but he didn’t refuse the compliments towards the genetic mixture that his parents had gifted him either. After all his years of existence, he still responded with a shy and flirty smile at the obvious glances thrown at him.

So the fact that people were indiscreetly staring at a man besides him was something kind of new for him. But, well, the man was Qian Kun, so… it was understandable.

Yeah, Kun was shorter, but he was handsome. Yukhei admitted it, but he also sensed that the reason all the eyes in the convenience store were on Kun was because of the fact that Kun’s eyes were gold.

Well, the outline of the pupils of both his eyes were golden.

Something magical.

Something that everyone knew meant that Kun was an alpha, and not just any alpha. An alpha that had found his soulmate. Ten. The omega whose eyes were also gold. Yeah, Ten’s irises were golden. No, they were not born with such characteristics—Renjun had shown him a picture of Ten from years ago and, although the color of his eyes were still brown then, it did not affect the fact that Ten’s out-of-this-world fairy appearance had always charmed everyone.

The moment they mated—Kun marked and knotted Ten—their eyes changed and, supposedly, their hearts started beating as one. The mating bite on Ten’s neck was as golden as his eyes, yeah… magical.

Soulmates.

Something so rare that many had not seen a pair—or a half of a pair—during their lifetime. Kun and Ten were the second pair he had met. They were the only pair that had not broken his heart.

“Don’t you think it will be too spicy?” Kun asked as he squatted to read the information at the back of a package located on the bottom shelf.

Yukhei was more focused on the female employee that was so concentrated on having a glance at Kun that she dropped a box of chips on the floor. An old lady had almost crashed against the crystal door of the store when Kun had offered for her to go first.

Yeah, it was like he was a celebrity.

Kun did not wait for an answer as he tossed the package on the basket Yukhei was carrying. He had received a message from Ten telling him to find band-aids, and he quickly lost himself on another aisle.

It was Sunday morning, and they had decided to go to the park. Well, Kun and Ten had decided to take their kids to the park, and Renjun decided to go with them because he considered it impossible for Kun to take care of two two-year-olds and one susceptible pregnant omega by his own. Yukhei knew that Kun had been blessed with patience and strength to deal with his family but tagged with them because Hendery shared with him his snacks and Dejun looked at him as if he was the eighth wonder of the world. Also, Ten called him baby and praised him 24/7. But mostly because Renjun was there too, and he liked spending time with him.

“Please, don’t tell Ten.” Yukhei snickered at the plea of Kun, as the older put the ice cream sandwich inside his mouth. Something about Ten wanting their children with zero factory-processed sugar that consequently had the alpha hiding sweets in the cabinet of his desk under three locks. Kun gave him an embarrassed smile that Yukhei responded to by raising his popsicle as a cheer for their felony.

Both laughed and continued their walk to the tent where Ten, Hendery, Dejun, and Renjun were. A seven-minute walk from the convenience store.

Dejun was helping Renjun arrange the plates on top of the yellow fabric that was to serve as their table for lunch. Actually, Dejun had the lid of the container of chopped fruits in one of his tiny hands and was using it as a pompom to cheer Renjun, who was playfully plating the food that their cousins had brought.

“Papa is here,” Ten whispered, carrying Hendery in his arms. The baby had his head on his father’s shoulder. One of Ten’s hands was supporting the baby’s bottom while the other was caressing the baby’s back, trying to keep him awake, which seemed kind of difficult since Yukhei supposed that Hendery was being lullabied by Ten’s heartbeat.

Yukhei sat right beside Renjun and helped unpack what they had brought. Dejun laughed as Yukhei winked at him and laughed again as Renjun hit the back of his head, rolling his eyes at Yukhei’s antics. Then, Renjun laughed as Yukhei pouted and batted his eyelashes for him.

The lunch proceeded quietly. Yukhei helped Renjun feed Dejun since Ten was busy feeding himself and his husband who had an already-sleeping and snoring Hendery on his chest.

Yukhei closed his eyes, trying to dissipate the dizziness on his head. One of his hands was against the plastic wall, trying to maintain his stability as the other lowered the lid of the toilet and pushed the handle to flush it.

He held his breath.

He counted until twenty and left the stall.

Playing with two children seemed to be too much for him. He had been pretending to be a terrifying bear that was going to catch the twins. Dejun and Hendery were laughing and running. Kun had to hold his forehead as the effort was too much, helping him throw up.

“Hey,” Renjun was waiting for him outside. The afternoon was getting cooler, since fall was fast approaching. Renjun bit his bottom lip as he approached him. Although smaller, he put an arm around Yukhei to help him stand.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. He felt bad that his health had spoiled the afternoon for the children. Dejun started crying, and then Hendery too.

“No, no. It’s alright. It’s alright.”

Yukhei sighed. “I…” A knot in his throat formed. Renjun felt his mood and started rubbing his back.

“Don’t worry. It’s alright.” He smiled as he kept soothing his back “Come. They’re waiting for us.”

The sky was becoming darker and darker every time he blinked. He was on the back seat of Kun’s car. Kun was driving, and Ten was by his side. The twins were on the second row, each of them sleeping and secured on their baby seats. Yukhei felt quite nostalgic seeing Kun and Ten talk in whispers and soft laughs. Their matching golden eyes were sparkling with the reflection of the light from the street lamps.

They were living the dream life.

The car stopped in front of a red light, and Kun intertwined his hand with Ten’s. He deposited a kiss on the back of it, and Ten rolled his eyes but blew him a kiss anyway.

Yukhei smiled, wondering to himself who the child in Ten’s womb will take after.

They were living the dream life that many would want to have.

The humming coming from his side distracted him. Renjun had his eyes on one of the neon signs of a fast food restaurant. He was squinting, trying to see the discounts of the season. As if he could sense Yukhei’s eyes on him, he faced him.

“Hm?”

Renjun’s eyes were still brown after receiving the bite on his shoulder, and Yukhei wondered if he could still pop a knot if there was the chance that they were…

“What?”

Yukhei shook his head and smiled at him. Emptying his head of any thoughts.

Renjun had really beautiful eyes. He liked those brown eyes.

The omega rolled his eyes and drove his hands to the baby pink blanket that was on Yukhei’s tummy. Ten had given it to him, telling him to cover his stomach, thinking he had caught a cold. Renjun tucked it again properly as it was not covering all of his belly. Then, he closed his eyes and placed his head on the headrest. Two seconds later, he patted his own shoulder giving Yukhei the cue to rest his head on it.

He did.

His head rested close to the brown mark on Renjun’s neck.

The light changed to green, and the car moved.

Renjun’s hand did not move from the place over Yukhei’s knee all the way home.

Yukhei did not want to change anything in his life.

He was happy with everything.

\- . -

Yukhei’s hands were trembling.

Nothing was wrong this time.

He was just nervous.

He entered the kitchen of their shared apartment. Renjun was so invested in making dinner that he didn’t notice that the alpha was standing just a couple of meters away from him. He was whistling a song Yukhei could not recall.

He looked… happy.

After the bite on Renjun’s neck healed, they went to do all the paperwork needed for him to be prioritized in the waiting list for transplants. However, according to them, being married was a must.

_I thought the government only wanted us to have kids, not all the legalities that came with it._

The birth rate in the country had decreased by thousands, almost millions, and they had decided to prioritize couples that could give them future citizens. Omegas were the most treasured gender, which is why they were allowed leaves and permits in order to have trustworthy conceptions. That is how some TV props called it. The biting mark helped in having a complete and safe pregnancy. A young healthy mated alpha was expected to have at least three to four pups, so anything to have an alpha doing his duty was worth the try. Thanks to the transplant, Yukhei was supposed to become one of them. No, it was not needed for the government to know that the last time Yukhei had an erection was in his second year of college. If they did not know it, it would not hurt them.

But, surprisingly, a bite mark that bounded them for the rest of their lives was not enough. They needed to have a piece of paper that shows that they accepted to be legally compromised.

It seemed that the government cared more for bureaucracies rather than the morals of their people.

Leaving a bonded omega, according to Yukhei, was the most deplorable thing to do. It was a life-changing action for any omega, and something that could easily be done by any alpha that did not have any consequences to face.

Renjun blinked twice after hearing what the doctor said about the paperwork.

_We are magically connected, now we just have to sign a contract. Just as with our flat._

Yeah, it did not seem to be a big deal. They had done the most primitive and mystical one, now just a signature and it’d be done. Still, Yukhei’s heart was beating so fast, and sweat covered his forehead. The papers were in his trembling hands.

“Hey. You’re here. Dinner is done. I made your favorite,” Renjun said when he finally noticed Yukhei petrified at the entrance of their kitchen. Since the tall boy did not move, he raised an eyebrow, curious. He noticed the envelope in the alpha’s hands.

“It finally came.”

A mixture of surprise and excitement. He washed his hands and took the papers from the other’s hands. He inspected them. “I sign here, and… done?” He questioned, pointing out a dotted line.

Yukhei nodded as Renjun took the pen that Yukhei did not know was stocked inside the pocket of his jacket.

Yukhei could not picture them going to the city hall and doing all the paperwork there. He was glad a new, efficient system of sending the certificates through mail was implemented.

“Lucky of you that our surnames are the same. You would have missed yours since we would have taken mine, right?” Renjun joked as he signed the paper.

Yeah, I don’t really care. Whatever you like.

He put the paper back inside the envelope and handed it to Yukhei. He was still petrified.

Renjun stood in front of him. The omega pouted—more from curiosity—as he let all the air in his lungs out.

“So…” He bounced on the tips of his shoes. He grabbed Yukhei’s tie and pulled him down, tip-toeing and leaving a small kiss on Yukhei’s lips “Welcome home, husband. Arrange the table, dinner is done.”

Renjun turned around to face the stove. “Once it’s approved, we’re going to the hospital,” the omega reminded him. His voice quivered, Yukhei noticed. And another thing that Yukhei noticed was how red his now-husband’s ears were.

It felt as if it was more than a contract.

\- . -

“Yah, take me there.” Yukhei moved his eyes from the TV screen to Renjun, who is sitting by his side.

“Morocco?”

Renjun nodded, excitedly pointing out the scenery displayed on the TV. The warm and vibrant tones would surely enchant anyone.

“Oh! Is there a desert?” Renjun shook his arm. “I can picture a mystery novel happening there. The scents and the magic,” the younger sang enthusiastically.

Two days later, Yukhei proposed an idea to him.

“We can’t afford it right now, you know it,” Renjun said, unfazed, packing his and Yukhei’s lunches. It was 7 a.m. on a Monday, and the week was yet to start.

“Yeah, I know. But…”

Renjun stopped on his tracks and raised one of his eyebrows, hearing the tone of his husband. Yukhei gulped.

“We need to save.”

“But you say you wanted to go.”

“Yes, but… we can’t. Now move, or we are gonna be late,” he said as he closed the containers and put them in their bags.

“Renjunie…”

“No.”

“Stop it.” Renjun sat across the coffee table in their kitchen. He was sending an email, and Yukhei was passing him a cup of tea.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

Renjun sipped the tea.

“For the last two days you keep repeating the same thing. No, we are not going to travel.”

“Renjun.”

The younger sighed. He took his glasses off and closed his laptop. “Yukhei, why do you want to go? Tell me.”

A little blush creeped onto his cheeks.

“It’s… we… we are married and… I know why we did it, and we have talked about it. I know we are not like the rest, but…”

No ceremony, no gifts, they even slept on different beds. Nothing more than something platonic, excluding hugs, hand holding, Yukhei passing wet towels on Renjun’s naked body and Renjun spending wide awake the nights that the pain did not let Yukhei sleep. Just three kisses until that moment that Yukhei counted and treasured.

They were truly not like the rest.

“Like a honeymoon? You want us to have a honeymoon?”

Yukhei nodded, avoiding eye contact.

“I know we can’t go too far.” If something happened abroad, Renjun feared that no one could help him. “And I know we can’t spend a lot, but… I wanna go with you somewhere. It doesn’t have to be far. I just… think it would be cool.”

Renjun stomach’s constricted at the sorrowful expression on the older. He remembered what Yukhei had told him once: I had many things I wanted to do. And, I thought I’d never be able to do them, but now I have you so… maybe.

We can’t lose time, he told himself.

“Three days, two nights. Like that, right?” Renjun asked.

Yukhei smiled.

Exhaling all the air in his lungs, he melted on the couch, absolutely devastated. Renjun could not find the correct words to comfort his friend.

A strike.

Neither of them owned a car, and a demonstration and a promise of a week-long strike of all modes of transportation because of some policy the government passed had caused them lost the opportunity to go to their trip.

They weren’t even going to be gone for long. They were supposed to spend the weekend in a certain healing resort three cities away, but… things just didn’t work out. It was the weekend of their supposed vacation, their first one since Renjun was promoted to lead the creation of designs for new brands of ballpens. They had been stuck in the train station for two hours, but… nothing.

“I’m gonna unpack,” Yukhei said, standing up and taking their suitcase. It was clear how disappointed he felt.

Yukhei heard his name being called from the living room. He dragged himself out of bed only because Renjun was asking for his help. He did truly want to go there. He had planned to do many things with Renjun during their short trip, and now they were stuck in their apartment for the rest of the weekend. He knew he should change his mood since Renjun was probably upset too. He considered that things would be worse if, on top of having their plans cancelled, both of them were sad.

He entered the living room and found a tent placed where the couch was supposed to be. Renjun’s computer displayed the image of a fire, and the speakers around the room had the melody of birds chirping and the leaves of trees rustling.

Renjun came from the kitchen with plastic bags of delivered food.

“I know this was not how we were going to spend our weekend, but…”

Yukhei hugged him tight.

\- . -

Third.

Yukhei was counting the glasses Renjun had drank so far. He felt a tingle at the back of his head.

He was nervous.

More like he was worried.

Fourth.

Renjun accidentally spilled some of the liquid on his jacket but laughed it off.

Sixth.

Okay, it wasn’t going to increase. No, Yukhei had his eyes on Renjun all the time, in case something happened, but he didn’t take Renjun apart from the alcoholic beverages he was consuming and imposed his dominance over his omega by prohibiting him to drink. Renjun had fallen asleep holding one of the table’s ornaments.

Yukhei chuckled seeing the color of the tablecloth changing because of Renjun’s drool.

It was not midnight yet, and only two of the attendants had already gone. Yukhei decided that it was time for him and his husband to go, too.

“Yo, having fun?”

Renjun did not respond. Yukhei patted his back, but there was no movement at all.

“We didn’t know he…” The apologetic smile of his husband’s female coworker made him shake his head to say it was alright. The redness on Renjun’s neck was persistent even with Yukhei’s thumb massaging the skin.

“Yeah, he doesn’t know how to say no.”

The girl passed him his husband’s scarf, and he knelt in front of him. “Renjun-ah, I need some help.”

Their other coworker, who Yukhei recalled as one of those that had tried to woo Renjun back when he entered the company—the poor guy almost bowed onto the floor, stating he did not know they were dating when their coworkers were told about their marriage. They were not, but no one needed to know about these certain personal details. Yukhei did feel a little bit sorry about the boy’s feeling—just a little bit. He turned to take the ornament from Renjun’s grip. That almost woke him up. At least he began to raise from his seat.

Yukhei thanked their coworkers and helped Renjun put on his coat and tied the scarf around his neck. Winter was going to start in a couple of days, and the weather was cold enough for him to be worried about Renjun catching a cold.

Someone yelped as Renjun’s body slumped in front, almost falling from his seat.

“Got him.” Yukhei was there to catch him.

He announced their departure to their colleagues. As Renjun was not responding at all, he piggybacked him all the way to the taxi.

A layer of sweat covered his forehead. He was panting, and Yukhei sensed Renjun’s legs were twitching too.

He did not know Renjun’s tiny legs were so fast—he had seemed to be dancing in the air.

He had to pursue him for four blocks and drag him back to their apartment. Luckily for the alpha, he had not yet dismissed the taxi and the driver was quite enthusiastic for the chase.

“You truly are one of a kind,” He murmured as he laid Renjun on his bed.

He debated with himself for half a minute about letting Renjun sleep with the shirt he had on or changing him into his pajamas. Renjun’s much smaller hands were on his, stopping him from unzipping his pants. Yukhei had already taken Renjun’s belt off.

“Yo.”

Yukhei smiled, raising his eyes to have a look at a drowsy Renjun.

“Yo,” he responded as he helped Renjun sit up. The latter let his hands go in order to stretch himself. One of his eyes was still closed, and his hair was in all directions. Renjun was yet to be sober, but at least he was awake.

“We home?”

“Yeah, they couldn’t handle you.”

Renjun snickered; Yukhei did too. The alpha stood up from the bed, took Renjun’s nightgown, and passed it to him. “Change. I’m gonna get you some water.”

Renjun still had one of his legs inside his pants and somehow had managed to unbuckle his shirt and buckle it again, missing three of the buttons. One of his shoulders was exposed, and the mark of his neck was on display too.

Renjun was dozing off, still sitting in bed, almost half naked. Yukhei approached him in silence, leaving the glass of water on the nightstand.

Renjun yawned and started rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. Yukhei dragged him to the edge of the bed, his legs hanging off from one side of it.

“I’m hard,” Renjun announced as Yukhei was taking off his pants.

Yeah, I see it, he wanted to reply, but the speed of his heartbeat had increased drastically, distracting him somehow. It took him a couple of seconds to try to play it off and not stare intensely at the bulge between Renjun’s legs.

He could feel Renjun’s sweet scent in the air.

“Have you invited me to dinner first?” Yukhei cracked a little smile as his hands were busy unbuttoning Renjun’s shirt. Renjun placed his head on his shoulder.

“Lunch was on me, so…” Renjun yawned again as Yukhei finished unbuttoning his shirt.

His hands ended up on the other’s waist as Renjun started to sniff his neck.

He gulped due to the proximity.

Yes, he had erectile dysfunction but that did not mean that all the rest of his body was immune to Renjun’s charms.

The charms of Renjun, who was an omega.

The charms of Renjun, who was his mate.

Certain parts of the treatment he had been under had made him lost certain alpha qualities. He did not smell like one of them, and he was not driven by primitive instincts when omegas’ pheromones reached his nose.

He was… ordinary, for the lack of a better word. As a beta.

However, betas could not bond with omegas and, consequently, they could not feel the necessity to correspond to whatever needs their pair had. Yukhei’s inside were in pain whenever he wasn’t able to help Renjun during his heats. He felt powerless and anxious.

“Are trying to take advan—hng…” A soft bite on Yukhei’s ear made him moan. Yukhei was embarrassed. Renjun had a grin on his face.

One of a kind.

Yukhei was pinned down on the mattress, and Renjun started to grind on him.

He never would have thought that the night was going to develop in such a way.

He was not mad about it, though.

“Ren,” he tried to call the man sucking his neck and unbuttoning his shirt.

“Hng,” Renjun let out as he tried to stop him, his hands on his waist.

“Renjun. You are quite drunk and…”

“No, no. I know what I want.”

“Renjun, I can’t even…” The words died as he saw a flustered Renjun on top of him, hard and panting with his rosy cheeks.

A primitive instinct was starting to throb in his guts, telling him to do what he was supposed to do.

“I can’t get it up, you know it.”

Unfortunately.

“And?” The friction in his pants increased, and the sweet scent from between Renjun’s legs was making him drowsy. He started to feel a wet spot on his pants that was all Renjun’s doing. “Help me.”

The frustration of not being able to correspond to his mate.

Powerless.

Pitiable.

“Alpha.” The plea from Renjun’s lips was enough for him. “Alpha, please.”

A switch was turned on.

_Wong Yukhei, you have been waiting for this your whole life. Is that going to stop you?_

Now, Yukhei was on top.

Yeah, maybe he was not able to use anything from his waist downwards, but… he could use everything else.

And use it majestically.

Renjun’s eyes were covered with a certain dark veil, probably his too.

“Just tell me if you can’t handle it.”

His eyes opened, and he stared at the ceiling.

It had been a long time since he had slept until past midday.

He was still using the same shirt from the day before, but only one button was holding the shirt onto his body. He still had his underwear on, and only one sock too.

A pressure on his left arm made him turn his head to the side.

Renjun was also waking up at that moment.

A tingling on his stomach appeared.

He was tired… and satisfied.

Renjun propped himself up—he had used Yukhei’s arm as a pillow—and sat still. Red marks adorned his chest and neck, though Yukhei did not stare at them as much as at their mating mark. He had almost pierced that part of Renjun’s skin again last night.

Yeah, he had been pent up for a while.

“My head,” Renjun groaned covering his face with his hands.

Yukhei froze, not even able to ask Renjun if he needed something for his headache. His heart was beating fast in his chest as Renjun tilted his head and was now staring at him.

The nervousness augmented as, after a couple of seconds of Renjun’s eyes on him, he opened them way bigger. “Do you—”

“I forgot I had to send the samples. The director is going to kill me.” And with that the omega moved to get out of the bed.

Yukhei was still half asleep, more nervous and quite happy to see Renjun approach. “Morning.” Renjun’s lips were on his and, a second later, he was running out of their bedroom.

Yukhei did not leave the bed until after screaming onto his pillow for ten minutes.

\- . -

Sitting on the sofa in the living room, Yukhei was waiting for Renjun to come home from work. He was playing with his phone when he got a message from Renjun telling him that he had just left the office.

A knot in his stomach formed.

He had 40 minutes until his arrival.

Yukhei told him to be careful since it was late. Renjun was catching up with all his accumulated work. His heat—his fourth heat since they mated and third as a married couple—had ended two days ago, and he was busy finishing everything. He wanted to have everything done in case someone called saying that they had a possible transplant.

Which could be at any moment.

Yukhei was now a priority on the waiting list. Maybe in 6 months he would have the transplant.

He had nothing years ago, and now possibly twenty more years of life expectancy.

Might be more.

He had a chance.

A chance that made Yukhei think.

He was anxious.

He was hopeful.

Maybe now, there was… a tomorrow.

Maybe kids, they can adopt.

He wondered if Renjun would say yes.

He was sweating.

He wanted to ask Renjun about it that same night.

He had asked beforehand, and they had a chance to be given a kid in less than a year.

Renjun would come at any minute.

His chest compressed.

Maybe nervousness.

His fingers were cold.

He felt dizzy.

No, it was not nervousness.

Everything became blurry.

Everything turned black.

Renjun found Yukhei unconscious in the middle of their living room.

\- . -

It had been two weeks since Renjun had not gone back to work. Yukhei was still in the hospital, and Renjun did not want to leave his side. But it seemed that someone—his nosy cousin Kun—had told Yukhei about it. Yukhei sent him back to work.

It had been a week since Renjun got to spend his lunch break there, in the hospital. He was not allowed to spend the night there. They needed the place as least contaminated as possible.

Renjun only had weekends to be with Yukhei. And he treasured every single second.

The parking lot of the hospital was covered on white thanks to the snow. New Year—the one of the solar calendar—happened not long ago.

“Stop touching the needles,” he nagged at Yukhei. He walked away from the window and took a seat next to his husband. He frowned as he tried to put the tape that covered the needles back to the place where the nurse had put it five minutes ago.

“Yo,” Yukhei called. His voice was raspy. His face, pale. Renjun raised his head and laid his eyes on the fragile figure of the alpha. “You are cold.” Yukhei’s big hand caressed his cheek.

“It’s winter, smartass.”

Yukhei smiled. His hand was still on the omega’s face, and he kept caressing his cheek with his thumb. Renjun closed his eyes and broke down, again. For the umpteenth time. “You are going to be okay…” His voice was broken, and tears fell from his eyes. They both knew it was a lie.

Yukhei dried his tears.

“When I’m gone—” He whimpered. “Do you think the mark will fade?” Yukhei was genuinely curious. One of his many fears that had given him countless sleepless nights was happening. “Do you think you can… bond with someone else?”

Renjun sniffed. “And get another idiot like you? No thanks” Tears kept flowing. “Just you is enough. You… I think you are irreplaceable.”

They had had that conversation many times since Yukhei arrived at the hospital. He knew it was hard for Renjun, but he wanted to make sure that he—his friend first of all—was not alone.

He did not want Renjun to feel lonely, he had confessed once.

“Don’t cry for me… whatever happens. Do you promise me?” Renjun did not answer him. Yukhei let him cry until he fell asleep. He woke Renjun up when the nurse came to say that visiting hours were about to end.

Yukhei felt the need to state out loud that Renjun was not a mere visitor but his husband, his mate, and his friend.

“We’re going to celebrate your birthday at home. You will see,” the Omega said before leaving his room.

Yukhei liked how the warning sounded.

Home.

They did it, actually.

Yukhei spent his birthday at their home.

Just a few friends and family members.

It felt surreal.

Yukhei wanted to freeze time at that moment.

Renjun hugging him from behind, asking him to make a wish.

Yukhei wished for Renjun’s happiness.

Yukhei died a week later of his 29th birthday.

He no longer woke up.


End file.
